My Gram

My Gram, Evelyn, passed away today, 5 weeks to the day my Papa passed in January. After 67 years of marriage, I don't think they could stand to be apart. My Gram was the most truly happy person I have, and I'm sure ever will, meet. She always looked at the positive side of life, and people. She wrote letters every week, to all of us in our family, encouraging us to follow our dreams and always telling us how much we were loved. I sure hope my 2 girls got some of gram's genes.

Week 2

Sleeping Beauty

How to keep a 2 yr old occupied for 1/2 hr
I can't believe my baby is 2 weeks old today!! I'm scared to even say it, but we had a good sleeping nite last nite, and a schedule today. I'm sure it will change, but it was nice not to be up for 2 hrs last nite. Last nite ryan and I had dinner for 2, Jillian went to a birthday party for Aunty E's godson James, and Olivia was fast asleep. It was weird, to actually get through a conversation, not having to say, "don't feed boo, if you throw that you are done, or don't rub your hands in your hair!" She had alot of fun I heard, and came home and had to eat her cupcake, so she was up till 930pm!! ugh! So, today she "slept" in till 8am. Why any child of mine gets up at 630am every day is beyond me. This saturday is Ryan's 32nd bday!! old man! Not sure what we, or mostly he, will do, I might actually have a drink, its been a loooooong time!

Little Tumbler

So, lately Jillian has been doing somersaults, headstands and tripods (remember those?) on the couch non stop. So, I enrolled her at midwest twisters, the mom and tot class spring class. I figure I'm off so we can do a day class and have a little mommy one on one time. I think she is gonna have so much fun. Now we have to get a little leotard!!! Plus, it will give her some other kid socializing time, not like she is shy tho!

Its amazing to me how different Olivia is from Jillian. I never once sat up for hours with Jillian, she always ate, and than slept. I have been up from 1-3am for the last 12 days with Olivia, i hope it doesnt last long. Olivia loves the swing and the baby bjorn thing, all stuff Jillian hated. Olivia will sleep for 3 hrs in her glider crib, Jillian hated to sleep on anything but us. I guess I kinda thought since I was having another girl, they would be similar, but wow, they are totally different little beings.

Today we had picture bonanza, so you all will be getting your announcements in the mail soon. I have to say, she looks as cute as can be!!! Trying to take a picture of Olivia alone is not an easy task, someone (hmm who could that be) wants to be in every picture!!!

Snugglin' Sisters

Wheeee

OK, because i am a nerd at heart, i conducted a little experiment yesterday. I pumped 5 times (every 3 hrs) and kept track of how much I pumped versus how much she ate at the five feedings. I pumped 8 oz, she ate 16 oz, know i know they eat more from a bottle, but 50% more? no way. She was like a different baby yesterday, so much less fussy, probably because she wasn't hungry!!

The BF Blues

So, here are my thoughts regarding breastfeeding and me;

1. I have a big baby, a almost 11lb baby. I am convinced mother nature does not know this, and I have the same amount of milk as a woman with a 7 lb baby. Talking to friends who have breastfeed, they got 2 oz pumping at first, just like me. Only my baby doesn't eat 2 oz, she eats 3-5oz. When every other feeding is 1.5 hrs long and she is still hungry and i have to give her a couple oz of formula or pumped milk, i don't have enough milk.

2. I have a 2 kids. If Olivia was my first and only, I could spend 1.5 hours every couple hours feeding. She is not, and yesterday after the 3rd tantrum, and Jillian yelling "put that baby on the couch momma, put her down", and I'm crying, and Ryan's frustrated trying to keep Jillian happy when all she wants is me, I realized there has to be a better way. Jillian is a good girl, and 20-30mins she doesn't mind me with the baby, but over and hour- too much. I just remember what a lady at work said, if the baby and toddler are both crying, tend to the toddler first, she will remember and be the one to resent the new baby. the new baby will never remember who you went to first.

3. I know it gets better, with time and patience and all that. But, I'm only breastfeeding tops 3.5 months, I can't do it when i go back to work. So, it seems after 3 months is when it "gets good" and they feed fast and its convenient. So, I feel like I'm starving to fit into a dress I will never wear. I'm gonna suffer and struggle the next few months, and never get to the good stuff.

4. I am uncomfortable. I am not someone who can whip it out in a crowd. So, every time someone comes over, i leave the room. If she feed for 20mins fine, but leaving for over an hour, not fun. And since she isn't getting enough, i have no feed schedule, either she goes 1-2 hrs. I'm dreading visitors, which sucks.

5. I'm sick of crying, worrying, feeling guilty, ect... Jillian is (to me!) the smartest little girl ever, and she was formula fed. So, why am I torturing myself with this? She's been sick a handful of times, never on antibiotics or anything. Yesterday Jillian touched my face and said, Momma so sad, momma doesn't want to be sad anymore.

So, i'm gonna pump, it takes 15 mins, so i can do it before or after i feed her. I will probably have to pump 2 times to get enough for one bottle, but if i do it 8 times a day, thats 4 bottles, and half her daily food. Hopefully by the time ryan goes back to work in 2 weeks, i will pump enough for one bottle, and maybe as i pump and build up my supply, and i can go back to the breastfeeding. Olivia has seemed pretty easy alternating between the bottle and boob so far. Or, maybe when ryan goes back to work i stop, and be happy she got 3 weeks worth. Either way, I feel a lot better today, even on 5 hrs sleep!

Week 1

Hello, world

Saturday is cowgirl time!
Well, its hard to believe but we've been home almost a week. It was so busy, and stressful with this breastfeeding stuff, but overall not the nightmare i had dreamed it may be. Olivia latched on finally after our class wed, she eats alot and often, i'm hoping that slows down to equal shorter feedings, now she falls asleep alot. I will give it a couple weeks, but when ryan goes back to work there is no way i can sit and feed her for an hour, if i didnt have jillian, but she doesn't understand and gets sassy when i'm "ignoring" her. So, i'll keep trying, everyone says it gets easier over time, i will try and believe it! She has been sleeping pretty good, last nite from 11-3am, then 4-630am, so I can't complain. I weighed myself this morning to see if all the breastfeeding weight loss is true, and I lost all 24 lbs of baby #2 weight! I know the baby and other stuff probably weighed 15-16lbs, then water weight, but whoo hoo!! Now, just gotta work on the baby #1 weight getting off!!! 60 lbs was alot harder to shed!!! It is incentive to keep breastfeeding! I'm kinda glad its snowing today, nice day to stay in and cuddle my girls!!!

Little Valentine

She looks so small on daddy!
Snuggle Time

Momma got a baby, all i got was this dollhouse!

Feelin' Grateful

So, I've been complaining and so unhappy about Olivia wearing the billy blanket the last 3 days. It's also been so busy the last 3 days, visitors, doctor appts, ect... Today, we are rushing out the door to the doctor, of course Olivia half ate, i'm frazzled, we get there late. I'm checking in, and i hear this little voice say hi, hi, hi, and right away you can tell by the sound of the voice something is wrong with the little boy. I turn to look at him, and he has some sort of disability, and his mom smiles at me, and man i felt so bad. Here i'm stressed about a temporary thing, i have 2 healthy kids, I should be so grateful. Then, we go in to our appt, Olivia's levels dropped, she's off the blanket, all healthy. Down to 10lbs 3 oz, but doc said she has "some cushion room". So, it definitely made me rethink my perspective.

On the breastfeeding front, I'm having issues, so i started pumping. Olivia isn't latching on, so tomorrow i'm going to meet the breastfeeding specialist in the morning. I figure I will go see her, give it my best shot, and if it doesn't work, similac will be happy, right?!

Jillian is really in visitor detox. All day she said, momma whose coming to visit today? Aunty E came for dinner thank goodness, I'm getting the feeling me and ryan are boring? Can't imagine that?!?

Sister, Sister

Jillian loves her new sister, she gets so excited when we have vistors, she runs to the door, yelling come see my sister olivia!! Very cute! Hard to believe its only our 2nd full day home, time is flying. Otherwise i just have the breastfeeding blues. Apparently my "little" baby needs more milk than I can make, so i breastfeed, than give her formula, but its a pain and like a 45 min process. One of the main reasons i was excited to breastfeed was not deal with bottles! ugh. Olivia is still jaundice, we go again to the doc tommorrow, im praying she is ok, the billy blanket is such a pain. In the middle of the nite trying to unhook it and not trip over the cord, ANNOYING!!! I got to sleep for 2- 3 1/2 hour blocks last nite- very exciting!!

Shell Shocked, overjoyed and just a little tired..

I'm still in shock that not only was my baby girl living in my belly 11lbs, but that she came out of me, minus pain meds that way!!! The inducement was very fast, but the worst pain i hope to ever feel. I got induced at 845am, felt mild contractions till 10, then they kicked in and were about 15 seconds apart. I was like 4 cm dilated, all the sudden 7, 9 and than at 1150am nurse said to start pushing here she comes. So, at least it was fast, but oh man, Jillians labor was a piece of cake compared to olivia's!! When the nurse said she was 10lbs, 15oz I almost passed out! 22 inches long! She is perfect tho, i couldnt imagine loving another as much as jillian, but i do! I'm finally feeling better today, it was a rough couple days, i think i pulled all the muscles in my body from the tension and other fun stuff! Olivia is jaundice, just like Jillian was, so we have the billy blanket on her now, hopefully tommorrow she gets off it, its so hard to breastfeed, especially at nite with this giant cord attached to her. But if thats the worst we deal with i can take. Jillian is sick now, so hopefully the baby wont catch it, great timing. Glad to be home, couldnt stop crying last nite, just seeing olivia sitting in jillians clothes and bouncy seat, and her looking so much like her, just make me realize how old jillian is. the last 2 1/2 years went so fast, to fast, I remember thinking jillian would be a baby forever. Now she is going potty too, so that confirms it, shes a big girl! I am looking forward the next 3 1/2 months with my girls, i can't wait to see them interact and grow up together!!

Olivia Patricia

And she is only 2...

This commercial comes on every day during dora, for PJ sparkles doll stuff. Everyday Jillian says I want that! I say we'll see. This morning she says, " How bout easter bunny bring me that momma?" Ok, didn't santa just come??? And how does she know about this easter bunny guy?? So funny how it goes from you opening their gifts and them not getting any of the holiday stuff, to them telling you months ahead what they want!! all in 2 years!!!

Cowgirls and Potty Time!!

These pics are for you Aunty E!!!

Our little cowgirl! Jillian gets boxes of clothes and shoes from her cousin, Kiersten, in Kansas City which she just loves. Last time she got pink cowgirl boots, and she wears them all the time. Forgot to put on her straw hat, but still so cute!!

Otherwise we had a breakthrough on the potty front!! I blame myself for the delay, back in July/Aug. she was all about potty time, and i delayed it cause we were going up north and to aunty shannons wedding and figured truck stops and traveling do not equal potty success. Well, after that she got anti-potty- we read her potty books every day over and over, and at the end it says "do u want to be a big girl too?" and she yells NO! Well, today at gramma barb's, she said i gotta go potty, sat on the big potty and went!! then, daddy came a 1/2 hr later and she said daddy i have to go potty, he took her up there and she went again!!! So funny, all the worrying when stuff will happen, and it just does. REALLY good timing tho, since i will have so much free time in the next few weeks:-) But, being miss cheapo, can't help but get excited to buy diapers for one, not 2!!!

Thanks to everyone for the good wishes about thursday, I hope I will go like Julie, maybe quicker cause its #2 rite?!?

2/12/09

Ok, so unless evil mother nature comes through for me in the next 2 days, baby olivia is getting induced on thurs morning. Today at the doctor, i am "making progress", just at a turtle rate. Not to say i couldnt go in labor in 5 minutes or 2 weeks, they don't know. So, i hope she comes before thurs, since i didnt have any drugs with Jillian, but tough luck baby O, if you came a month early you'd be so lucky too!!! So, wish me luck! Here's hoping the next 2 days fly by- least it will be nice out!

The baby that wouldn't come out...

I'm 99.9% sure i am carrying a baby elephant, u know they stay in the womb for like 2 years. Yup, today at my 39 week appt, i have made a little progress, but so little now induction looks like the route we will be taking. Now that gigantor is officially full term, the doctor is worried she is gaining needless weight. So, I go Monday morning, if i have made progress i can wait to see if she comes by like thurs, if none, i have to schedule the inducing for tues or wed. She is estimating the baby is 9-9 1/2lbs, but i don't believe any of them, apparently my kids are good hiders or something, cause they told me jillian was like 7.5-8lbs on a tues, and she was born that friday 9.5lbs. I was worried about inducing but she said the only risk is it wont work than i will have to have a c-section. But, in my mind right now, if i go naturally, I will go through hours of labor and unable to push gigantor out, have a csection anyways. Hopefully i will be like my friend danielle, and have it scheduled and go into labor on my own. Either way, the end is near, a week at most, so i'm happy. I think this baby is gonna be the one who drives me crazy, Jillian is just like me, fast to get mad and a yeller so i know how to deal with that. i think olivia is gonna be just like my sister, the type you yell at and they just listen. Patience and me don't mix. Hopefully i can get my butt outside tomorrow when aunty e comes over to play with jillian, maybe i can walk her out?!

Tryin to beat the winter time blues

Just Driving around

Whee-hee High Concentration Station
Goin' for a morning walk

So, today instead of pulling each hair on my head off one by one, I decided we needed to do something. Jillian had a morning walk with her baby and fancy purse, than we went to stonefire for a 3 hr lunch. She had so much fun, she even wanted to go play in the big kid area this time. I'm gonna try and do something fun like that once a week with her, special mommy and me time, and to beat the winter blues. I never was a summer fanatic- i like to hibernate, but now with a toddler- summer is the best. I just opened the door all summer and out she went, i could garden or just sit out there- so nice.

Dishwasher for hire

Just make sure you have lots of towels. Yes, no baby, I've decided to stop speaking about the subject.

What happens when the daddies watch them...

Ethan came over to visit yesterday, and I'm not sure what happened! They were downstairs with their daddies, and it looks a little chaotic!